2/28/2004

What has happened?
You were doing so well.
Why is it that,
You have stumbled and fell?

Fallen from the stars,
Dropped through darkened clouds.
Stained with the colors,
Haunted by the sounds.

Escape can’t be found.
Stability---just a breeze.
Mind is left wondering.
Body---does only freeze.

Desire is to escape,
But feet need solid ground.
Needing a place to put them,
Looking but can’t be found.

Time is passing me over,
Life is blowing by.
I am endlessly falling,
Questioning and wondering why.

05/12/2001

Ghosts that haunt me,
Ties that bind.
Make me feel,
As if I’ve lost my mind.
Hours of contemplation,
Rest heavy upon my soul.
What is it, what is it?
What should be my goal?
There is no winner.
Who should the loser be?
Please, oh please, help me.
Help me to know and see.
In whose hands do I place,
The short end of the stick?
Regardless, I will be the one
Who will still be left sick.
Put myself first,
Leave the others last.
Is this the only way,
To deal with my tainted past?

10/5/2003

I wish I could erase
The injustice you feel in the past.
I wish that I could strengthen
Some feelings you say ‘don’t last’.

I wish I could give you
The peace you’re longing for.
I wish I could show you
Sands of a different shore.

I wish I could be,
The greatest sis’ you’ve ever had.
I wish that when I called you,
My voice would make you glad.

Wishes, I’m surrounded by.
Dreams that might come true.
Some of which depends upon me,
Much of which relies on you.

Life is sometimes confusing.
You don’t know which path to take.
Overrun with choices,
Not knowing which one to make.

Just think of your beginning.
Where did you come from?
Allow that to light your path,
Of what you will become.

11/28/2003

I need a stop,
A pause in this life.
I need an escape,
A release from the strife.

Not an end,
Or even a final chapter.
Just some time and space,
So my life I can master.

Crazy spinning cycles,
Taking a million turns.
Not knowing which of my paths,
Will lead me to more burns.

Just a little time,
To call all my own.
These are not things,
That I can be shown.

I need some individuality,
Some distinct uniqueness.
Replacement of jaded thoughts,
To endure life with finesse.

So just give me a moment,
Give me some time.
Allow my breath,
To catch up to these lungs of mine.

12/7/2003

Help me Heavenly Father,
To pass this cup of mine.
Help me Heavenly Father,
To let Thy light shine.

Christ my older brother,
Came and past the test.
Christ my older brother,
Provided me a way to rest.

Allow my pride to cease Father,
I need to bend my knees.
Allow my pride to cease Father,
I need Thy help please.

I know I’m not alone,
On this path of mine.
I know I am not alone,
With Thy love I will be fine.

I am Thy daughter,
Thou knowest the pain I’m in.
I am Thy daughter,
Help to erase my sin.

I need to feel Thy comfort,
I need Thy warm embrace.
I need to feel Thy comfort,
Help me to find peace in this place.

12/5/2003

Desperate feelings,
Unquenched needs.
Relief comes,
When I bleed.

Apathetic to this
Life of mine.
Need some feeling,
So my eyes might shine.

Tried to avoid
The ever present pit.
That is always waiting,
Such a perfect fit

12/5/2003

Knife is a slice of pleasure,
That helps to dull the ache.
Burns from a flame,
Brief relief for my sake.

Out of control,
Bringing a pause.
Somehow dulling,
Breaking laws.

All of which better,
Than the bitter grief.
That is tied,
To erroneous beliefs.

Some may guess,
But none can touch
The feelings,
That haunt me so much.

Chased down a darkened ally,
Found by the sun.
Never an escape,
No matter how fast I run.

Lightening strikes,
To my very core.
Thunder vibrates,
Waking the hurt more.